The Spaces in Between – Learning to Enjoy Silence and Solitude

I'm a pretty laid back and relaxed kind of gal. For the most part I'm content with my solitude, but that wasn't always the case. I'm a homebody and a hermit, yes, but there was once a time when the thought of dining in public alone was a cause for panic.
With some time, practice, and deliberate stretching of my comfort zone, I've come to find so much peace with my own company that not only has my alone time become fulfilling, my relationships are more rewarding as well. I no longer need the company of another to make me feel complete. Better yet, when enjoying the company of another, I no longer feel the need to fill the air with useless noise. I'm able to simply enjoy the comfort of their company, even if we're sitting side by side in blissful silence.
Though it may seem like a challenge, obtaining this sort of serenity really isn't so difficult. Here's a few methods that helped me grow comfortable in my own skin.

Celebrate Your Independence

• Count Your Blessings – Sometimes, when we get all caught up in the noise that's banging around in our heads, it can be tempting to listen to the nagging voice of insecurity. It's at these times that we become most vulnerable to self-sabotage in the form of counting all of our past disappointments. This ugly cycle only leads to stress, mental-anguish, and depression.
  Switch things up by using this time to count your blessings. Write down a few things that happened during the day to make you feel grateful or optimistic. To really boost the signal on your blessings, share this good news with your friends over Facebook or Twitter. Sharing the things that make you genuinely smile causes others to genuinely smile too. It's like a yawn, totally contagious.
• Let it Be – We can't be all things to everyone, even though it might sound nice to be regarded as the savior of the day. Truth is, the need to control every last detail, or have a handle on matters which are beyond your reach gets to be really exhausting. Chances are there may be someone else who is equally qualified to handle one of your many tasks, let them do it and don't complain when their approach is different. Instead, be thankful that you've been given a chance to focus on more pressing matters like relaxing and enjoying life. Let someone else take the wheel once in a while, and enjoy the view for a change.
• Enjoy Your Company – Now that you've got all sorts of free-time on your hands, what the heck are you supposed to do to fill the hours? The simple answer is: have fun! Ask yourself what you want to do, and then get out there and do it. Want to wear funky socks, curl up under the covers, and read a trashy romance novel? Okay! Doesn't a bowl of ice cream and a few hours of nail art tutorials on YouTube sound positively awesome? Treat yourself!
• Build a Sanctuary – If you're having trouble relaxing in your personal space because it feels more like a prison than a paradise, it may be time for a little make-over. A fresh coat of paint, a few scented candles, even a simple rearranging of the furniture can really breathe new life into a room and make it feel more special.    

Room to Breathe – How to Give Each Other Space

I'm a homebody, no doubt about it. I'm perfectly content with my own company, so it doesn't bother me in the least to have hours, days, and weeks pass between visits with my friends. Those who know me best have come to accept my hermit-like ways as endearing. It's even a joke among my friends and I that I'm pretty much notorious for never initiating contact.

Not everyone is quite so comfortable with so much time and space to themselves, however. If you've reached that awkward stage in your relationship where you need to give each other some breathing room, I have some words of advice for enjoying personal space without going crazy.

• Take a Night Off – Time away is important. If you're just starting a new relationship it's easy to maintain at least one night a week to yourself to do anything you want to do. This could be anything, or nothing at all. You decide, it's your time to spend as you please. Be sure to treat your sweetie to the same sort of luxury.
  

  If you're in an established relationship and you've found yourself firmly joined to your partner's hip it may be a little tricky to get a night off. Maybe consider chilling out in different parts of the house, or simply doing something out of the ordinary, like taking the kids out for ice cream.
• Do Your Own Thing – Remember that art class you've been meaning to take, but you've been too busy pouring all of your time and energy into your relationship? Well, now is the time to go take that class! Seriously, you're worth it. Never give up on your own growth, being involved in chasing your varied interests will only give you and your honeypie something new to talk about. That's a good thing, right?
• Visit Friends – Are your buddies complaining about how much time has passed since they last saw you? This is a sure sign that you need to catch up with friends. Plan a spa day, a golf outing, a LAN party, something that will allow you to gather together and have fun.

Putting the FUN in Fundamentals

Everyone needs a bit of solitude once in a while, a chance to get back to who they are as an individual. The important thing to remember when seeking space for yourself, or allowing your sweetheart some space when they ask for it, is keep your attitude light and positive. This free time is an opportunity for fun, relaxation, and adventure. Allow yourself the opportunity to indulge often.